Missed Chance
by Readergirl37
Summary: All human au with Elijah and Elena at Whitmore. Elijah tells Elena he's seeing someone and she reflects on her relationship with him.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I have been working on other fics, but I've also had a writer's block that's been killing progress. So I sat down with way too much coffee and tea and this came out-based off some of the romantic struggles I've been having. I usually write happy endings but currently, that's not exactly how this thing I'm going through will really end. Hayley was the easiest of Elijah's girlfriends/lovers to pick.

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* * *

He's happy, happier than she's seen him in a long time.

"You know that girl Hayley, I mentioned a few days ago?" Elijah asks with bright eyes and Elena's stomach fills with dread.

"Yeah?" Elena asks, trying to keep her tone neutral.

"We went on a date last night and I think we're dating," he tells her and she looks a few inches above his eyes.

"That's great. That's really great," Elena lies and Elijah grins widely. It's real, genuine, and he seems truly happy. She wants to be happy but she's not sure how long she can keep a fake smile on her face, they need to end this conversation soon before she says something she'll regret.

"She's just perfect. We talked for hours last night," Elijah begins. Elena thanks god for Caroline and her personalized ringtone she set ages ago.

"Oh, that's Care, I should get this. It was nice catching up with you, see you later?" Elena asks. He nods and walks away silently as she answers the call.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Elena asks.

"I don't have anything planned, I was gonna ask you to help me study for-what's wrong?" Caroline wonders. She loves Caroline, but she also hates that she knows her so damn well.

"Can we get takeout and some wine? Or just, alcohol? Please? We can invite Bonnie over and have a quiet night in," Elena suggests. She busies herself with moving the strap of her messenger bag so it doesn't dig into her shoulder-waiting for Caroline to say something.

"It's Friday. We could be out partying and drinking. You didn't answer my question. What's wrong?" Caroline presses and Elena focuses on walking back to their apartment. It's been long enough that Elijah's definitely not in hearing distance, so she lets out the sigh she's been holding in.

"Elijah got a girlfriend," Elena tells her and waits.

"Judging by your tone, I'm assuming it's not you," Caroline says lightly.

"No, some girl named Hayley," Elena says.

"I'll call Bonnie in a few and get the alcohol. I stocked up on ice cream this morning, what do you want us to pick up?" Caroline asks. Elena blinks away a few tears and tries to think about food.

"I love you guys," she says instead and she can almost see the smile on Caroline's face.

"We love you too," Caroline says.

* * *

Logically, she knows she and Elijah were never going to work out even if they dated-and that she shouldn't be so hung up over their potential. Still-they messed around a few times, months ago, nothing too serious. The last time they did-he kissed her forehead, and looked at her with an intense look she couldn't read in the near dark. They're not teenagers but they're not really real adults either and they probably shouldn't have ever messed around in his car. She always knew there wasn't going to be a good ending to this-they both flirted and hinted at maybe doing something but never did. Both too scared to make a move, so so she thought.

He clearly doesn't have a problem with dating and asking a girl out-a girl that's not her. She doesn't want to hate this Hayley girl, she's barely even seen her and that's not fair to anyone. It's her fault she didn't make a move or tell him she was in love with him. At the same time, she never wanted to tell him because she was always so damn worried about ruining their friendship. They told each other everything for weeks on weeks this year and she thinks about that as she walks back to the apartment on autopilot.

Elena doesn't know if she should regret it. Them, their friendship, all of the late nights and all of the texting and secrets. It's not like their friendship is necessarily over now, but part of her knows that they were both close because they were both single. They both had free time and classes in common, and this summer they might grow apart. The thought is painful, partially because he knows too much and partially just the friendship and the goddamn potential.

They could have been a good couple if it wasn't for the ifs. If he wasn't going to graduate before her and move, and if she wanted kids-logically she knows they wouldn't have lasted long term because she doesn't. If she didn't know how he usually moved with his girlfriends-intense and over in a few months. She doesn't want to have him for a few months, she wanted him for forever but she knows it's just not realistic.

It's still hard to convince herself she needs to start letting go now so it doesn't hurt more later. Elena turns her key in the lock and getting into their apartment. She drops her bag on the floor and sprawls on the couch as she thinks. It'd be so easy to torture herself with memories. Right now, in the dark she can think of his exact cologne, exactly how tall he is when they hug and when she wears her favorite wedges, his laugh, his favorite-his favorite anything. She can picture every expression, every mood, the stuff they got up to in his car-nothing really past second and they didn't kiss more than a handful of times.

She can remember when they first met and she liked him immediately. She can remember the months of clueless flirting and when she first realized she might be in love with him. All the thoughts of what the fuck was that? What were we doing? Does he like me? Do I like Elijah? There were a lot of questions that filled her brain as she drove away after they had messed around. The one she always ended up focusing on was: when can I see him again?

It might be better that she never told him, it won't come to mind when they talk-he won't hold it against her. That's worst case, she hopes that their friendship their, relationship-whatever the hell they are, could survive a confession. She doesn't know, though, so she never got the words out, they always stopped in her throat, unable to leave. Even if she had told him, if all of this was in her head and they weren't flirting, just friends-things would probably be ruined.

Elena knows her younger self would be disappointed in her, all of this drama over a guy. Part of her thought that he wasn't just a guy, he was the guy. It's so stupid to think that Elijah Mikaelson of all people could be her endgame. Future husband or long term, or anything other than just a friend. He clearly doesn't see her that way. If he wants something he gets it.

If he was interested in her, he would tell her. Elijah is a pretty direct guy, she knows that from watching him chase other girls and how he approaches everything. If he wanted her or loved her, they'd be dating or he would have said something. Maybe it's hypocritical of her to think he should have made a move, but she knows she was obvious. Some of his brothers have mentioned that they think she's into him, but nothing's happened. Elijah isn't an idiot, he can pick up on cues and flirting. Maybe she was reading into it. They never talk about the times they mess around and she knows they should have. They have a code for it for fuck's sake, but they've never really gotten around to addressing it.

She knows what Bonnie and Caroline think-they know everything about the situation. They both thought she and Elijah would start dating. They were just dancing around each other, and it seemed like everyone thought so.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Elena knows she needs to let this go, Elijah is happy, and she should be happy for him. There's an odd sounding knock at the door and Elena gets off the couch to look through the peephole. It's Caroline and Bonnie, with a truly alarming amount of food.

"So, we went with what you said, and got hungry on the way," Bonnie grins and Elena gives them a genuine smile. They did the same thing when Caroline broke up with Tyler, but Elena can't help but feel guilty. It is a nice Friday, full of parties and potential-and she and Elijah weren't in a relationship.

They set the bags of food on the island and Elena's stomach growls for the first time in a few hours. They sort through food and it's a too early for wine, at least on an empty stomach, so they fill their plates and settle in the living room.

"Is it Hayley Marshall?" Caroline asks. Elena shrugs. Bonnie opens something on her phone and nods. They don't sugar coat it. They don't say that she just needs to find someone new-or that he's not the only guy out there. Of course he's not the only dude at Whitmore or in their area. There are billions of men out there, but part of her heart still only wants him.

* * *

The rest of the night is full of food, wine, bad movies, and truth. There aren't any real solutions to this mess, no magic wand to make it vanish or replace it with something better. Instead of solutions, they just have support-with a lot of food, wine, and love. Maybe that's all she can hope for right now. It's time to move on and she'll get through this.

It's not like it's the first time she's had a broken heart.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Since I'm an idiot in pain, would anyone be interested in the backstory between these two in another short fic? Also the lines haven't been working for me lately when I edit stories, sorry if the editing looks weird on this.

* * *

Elijah's not an idiot. She knows that, and yet-she still avoids his gaze the next time she sees him. There's not enough time for him to say anything, class is about to start, and they're not sitting together anyway. It's fine. She ignores the pain in her chest as she purposefully ignores him. He's always been too damn observant, able to tell something was wrong just by looking at her. Elena wonders if that'll disappear, if he'll stop noticing her all together, and she knows she needs to stop feeling sorry for herself.

Her life isn't over. She could list all of her accomplishments, but somehow, all she can think about is her failure in this. He's one guy. He's just one guy and her head knows that, but her heart doesn't.

She can see Elijah look over in the corner of her eye, but she pretends to focus on the professor. She almost wants to snap at him, tell him that if he wants to worry about someone, he can worry about Hayley. He's never mentioned her before, and they've only been dating for a few days. She doesn't want that at all though, for him to stop caring and to cut her out. She wants to be a part of his life, but she knows she's never going to have the starring role she wants. She wonders if this would be easier if they talked but she also doesn't want to hear about how wonderful and amazing and pretty Hayley fucking Marshall is.

Elena has no idea where they met or anything about her, and he's usually so quick to tell her about his dates and ask advice. Maybe that's part of why this stings so much, it took her completely by surprise.

He's known her for at most, two weeks and they've already moved quickly. She's known him for two years and they barely got anywhere and she knows she needs to stop thinking about it, but it's like trying not to scratch an itch. It's difficult to stop torturing herself with it.

She wonders if this relationship will last more than a season, longer than his last girlfriend. It's rude but true, and she wonders why he's so stupid. She's right in front of him, they actually know each other, they've got crazy chemistry, and she really needs to focus on taking her notes. Elijah tries to catch her when class ends, but she's one of the first people out the door. Her next class is across campus and she knows he's not going to follow, he's got his own schedule.

They've barely talked since he started dating again. Usually, they talk even when he is in a new relationship. Her phone beeps with his text tone and she puts her phone on vibrate as she walks across the sunny campus. She gave him one of the loudest tones, so she'd never miss a text. She did the same thing to Caroline and Bonnie though, so it was easy to justify when she was in denial. She didn't have a crush, or feelings of any kind-she just cared. Caring is what fucked her over and got her into this mess though, caring too much or caring too little is a dangerous game. Elena should have known it was a tightrope when it came to Elijah, from the first day they met-but she didn't see it. The warning signs were there but she didn't see it when she didn't even know she was wearing rose colored glasses when it came to him. It took her so long to figure out she was in love with him, and looking back, it's painfully obvious.

She can't keep doing this. She can't just see him almost every day and lie through her teeth and say it's fine when her heart is raw. Running into him ruins any healing that happens between the gaps of seeing him. She wonders how he never noticed that she's in love with him. He notices when she wears her favorite jacket, Jenna's earrings, or if anything's wrong. He noticed immediately when she got a haircut a few weeks ago-it was just a trim. He noticed though, when Caroline didn't. She mistook that for something more, apparently. It's just hard to not overthink this-there's so much to it.

If she goes with the assumption he started dating Hayley because he didn't think they were anything and thus nothing to get over-then he's an asshole. Elijah's not an asshole though, she knows that from the way he's wiped her tears away and silenced her fears and doubt with a few words, over and over. Elijah has been kind, close, and vulnerable with her as she has been with him-it doesn't make sense for him to see them as nothing. It was an unspoken, wordless thing that she thought they both understood. It's so hard to let go of this when she can still remember him kissing her, his hands up her shirt, their awkward positioning in the front seat of his SUV. It wasn't just a one time thing, if it was just once, she could see how he could justify ignoring it. It wasn't, though. The thoughts make her cheeks burn with embarrassment, and it's hard to focus after that. He's like a disease that's taken over her brain, every other thought it about him and she just wants it over, wants the pain over.

It might just be heartbreak, plain and simple, but he was her first kiss. First serious kiss, she kissed Matt when they were in first grade, but everyone told her that didn't count. Matt didn't really count either, they were brief, awkward and fleeting. They were over as soon as they began, and they didn't do much when they dated. They were much better as friends and got pressured into being more by hopeful parents. Football player and cheerleader, it seemed like basic math at the time, but it never really added up.

Caroline talked to him the other day. She needs to ask about him, text him herself-they make much better friends. Elijah is the first serious crush that stemmed from friendship and became something more. He's the first something more anything, if she's being truthful with herself.

* * *

Hey, are you okay? The text is from Elijah, and she wonders how she can respond. They've always been open and honest, but she can't just drop her feelings on him and jeopardize his new relationship. It's not fair to him and hates the thought of lying, but he's too observant for his own good. It would be easier to lie over text than in person, and with that in mind, she begins typing.

Yeah. You always know when something's up with me and I have something going on right now. It's not anything big, I just need to get through it solo. I didn't want to tell you, and it's hard to talk to you and not tell you everything, you know? Elena debates sending it, but she hits send before she can regret it. It's not technically a lie and even if he'd consider it one, it's based in truth. A lie of omission, but mostly truth, is probably fine. Elijah can always tell when she's lying or hiding something-he almost ruined his Christmas present by pressing for details. She can't help but think of the night she gave him his present-they met by the falls-in a spot they always park. They're predictable, but she loves that. Or at least, she did love it-this seems different. This time, she knows something is different. He hasn't been within a foot of her in ages. He used to love taking up her personal space, matching his pace with hers as they walked, and hugging her. Well, she loved hugging him and he was always up for making her feel short as she buried her head into his collar. The memories cut at her like someone threw a knife block at her-and none of the blades missed.

Maybe he knows Hayley like the back of his hand now, knows all of her facial expressions and quirks. Elena can't help but wonder if they'll be over soon too, Elijah always gets too intense too quickly in relationships and then they end in a mess. The thought shouldn't be as painful as it is and she can't get out of this rut. She wants to know him and stay close friends, but she can't see him and she needs space to get over him. Yet she doesn't want to grow apart, but she doesn't want to make this harder on herself by staying too close. Maybe Hayley will eat up all his free time and she'll be able to blame their distance on that-while her heart heals. At the same time, she doesn't want to drift apart for too long-she doesn't want him to think their friendship is over. She'd be devastated by that-she's not sure if she could take losing him too.

If she told him about her feelings, even just to free herself for a moment, she knows he'd distance himself from her. Elena's seen firsthand how he distances himself from girls he doesn't like back and she can't stand the thought of being one of them. Plus, she doesn't want him to think he owes her anything, he doesn't owe her his heart or anything back. He'd think about her confession every time he looked at her, and it might drive him and Hayley apart. If she really makes him happy, Elena knows she shouldn't get in the way of that. Even if part of her wishes she was Hayley right now.

It's hard not to get into comparisons, she wonders what Hayley has that she doesn't, or what's different between them. To be honest, she really doesn't know much about her besides the fact she's been seen kissing Elijah all over campus. Caroline and Bonnie have looked through her social media, but that's not Elena's thing. She's not up for stalking for information. If Elijah wants to tell her something, he will. She's not stooping to that, and she's not sure what she wants to know. Unless Elijah insists repeatedly, she doesn't see a friendship with Hayley happening. Caroline is sure that Tyler Lockwood cheated on her with Hayley-but she never learned her last name, just saw her briefly. They were over immediately, and while Elena's never really seen Elijah interact with Caroline without her and Bonnie, she's sure that it's come up at some point. Maybe Hayley has changed, or Caroline's thinking of the wrong person. Elena will admit to herself that it's awful to hope that Hayley and Elijah don't last long, but she doesn't want to see anyone hurt him. He's strong physically, she can vouch for that personally. There have been a few times he's just picked her up during a hug, when she's been too quiet, too distant, he just picked her up a few feet off the ground and waited for her to scream or laugh. She knows he'd never hurt her, physically. He's always been gentle, even when he's pretended to be rough. She can still remember the way he pressed his lips to her forehead, helped her get dressed before she left his car, and the way he touched her. Even though those memories are everything she wants to forget, she can still see every single one, like they were burned into her brain.

Still, it gets less painful with time, but she knows she's going to think of him as the one that got away. He's not going to Whitmore next year and she's still going to try to be his friend, no matter how painful it is. Maybe it's stupid but she's invested time in him and them and their relationship to just quit. She's never been good at knowing when to quit something. Elena knows she's tenacious and that it's gonna hurt her someday. The future is still seems abstract, far away, a hazy blur of eventual stress.

If Hayley breaks his heart, she'll be waiting, not that she wants them to break up, but she knows Elijah. This is likely gonna crash and burn, but just thinking it-she might have jinxed it. Even if he and Hayley get married and god forbid, she gives him everything Elena couldn't-she knows that she'll get over it and try her best to be happy for them.

That's what love is, she thinks, as she looks at her phone. He got her text but hasn't responded yet. All she can do is wait. Love is patience and valuing his happiness, even if it isn't with her.

Time has healed so many of her wounds, all she can do is wait for it to help this one.


End file.
